Divine Timing and How One Season of a Reality Show Changed My Life
Divine timing is the idea that everything occurs exactly when it's supposed to in your life. It's a force that propels events to happen in life at the right moment, and it's a beautiful thing to spot if you can find snippets of it. I'm lucky enough to have experienced some long, drawn out divine timing that's an important part of my healing journey and why I do what I do.
In true 17 year old fashion, I was fascinated by the glamorous California lifestyle that I got to snapshots of on shows like The Hills and The O.C. The beauty, the weather, the clothes? It was giving dream life, but a little too staged, a little too unrelatable for me. So when Pretty Wild premiered in E! Network I was hooked.
The story line of the show isn't really what's important here. Yes, there was part of me that was interested because the girls were connected to The Bling Ring which was a group of teenagers-turned-serial-robbers with celebrities as their targets. But it was their lifestyle that interested me. The mom (Andrea) homeschooled her three girls (Alexis, Tess and Gabby) and taught a curriculum based on the book The Secret. If you don't know, The Secret a book and film based on the law of attraction and how your beliefs can change your life.
There it is, that was my hook. I had no idea there was a book or movie about all of this, but it's a concept my dad had been speaking to me about since I was three.
In the first episode, you see Andrea and young Gabby setting up for school and looking for Alexis and Tess who are sneaking through the front door in mini skirts and high heels. Now THIS was a lifestyle I could get behind. Partying with friends and then spending the day learning about the universe and the law of attraction? It was unique, it was not anything like my lifestyle, but somehow these girls were my age and living like this. I wanted a piece of that. I wanted to model, and party, and be friends with my mom, and just fuck around for a bit before I decided to become a real adult.
The show was cancelled after one season because Alexis was arrested for her part in a robbery and then again on some drug charges. I was bummed that the life I was living vicariously through the show was so short lived, but assumed they'd pop up in other areas on reality TV and I'd continue to follow their journey (that didn't happen). I had no idea that 10 years after their disappearance from the public eye, that my connection to a nonsense reality show would save me and begin to change my life.
Every few years I'd remember the show and wonder where are Alexis and Tess now? Which would lead me down a shallow Google rabbit hole searching for any trace of them, and I'd inevitably rewatch the one season. Social media was just becoming relevant and my sleuthing skills turned up nothing but articles on Alexis' arrest and reviews of the show. There was no recent trace of these girls. How could they all just disappear? I think it was the second time I did this that I found a video Alexis did with Vice on drug use and getting clean. Ahh, there it is.. Proof the drugs were real. Finally a breadcrumb for me. This ritual continued for 10 years, I've probably rewatched the season 7 times at this point.
April 2020, wearing a mask my sister sent me. Also hiding behind a mask of a person who was ok.
Jump to 2020 where we're in the early stages of Covid, I'm a bundle of anxiety (30% covid, 70% other life shit), and I'm desperate to feel connected to something. Alexis and Tess pop into my head, and down a much deeper rabbit hole I go. Alexis is back in the public eye with a very active instagram page, and a podcast called Recovering from Reality. I'd like to tell you I immediately began listening, but that's not true... I actually poured myself some wine and sat down and rewatched Pretty Wild that night, but I also read up on her instagram, checked out what she was up to, and saw she had turned her life around completely. I'm talking sober for 10 years, a mother of two, married, owned a couple of seemingly successful businesses. She had matured and done a lot of work in her twenties, work I wasn't even aware a person could do. I did listen to an episode the following day, specifically her episode with Dr. Will Bulsiewicz on Using Food as Empowerment. I finally felt at home. There was something about Alexis' voice, something about all the growth she had done in 10 years that finally allowed me to unclench my jaw. Her podcast was possibly the most important tool in my toolkit for a long time, and while it didn't change my habits overnight it did allow me to begin filling my life with content and noise that was healing and helpful rather than dangerous and detrimental.
It was this space where I began to learn about self care and expanded my knowledge of eating to heal your body. I learned about relationship dynamics and ACE scores and what trauma really was. It was the shallow pool of healing knowledge I wanted to learn presented in a way that I was able to easily take it in.
It was also this podcast that I learned about health coaching and helping people to heal through nutrition, identity shifts, and looking at their life as a whole. It was the episode with Vanessa Fitzgerald that finally lit something inside of me that no one could put out. I had found my purpose.
Now in 2023, I get to write this beautiful story out to you. I get to share how something so small, and let's be honest... really shallow, had such a big impact on me later in life. This show, these people, it all led me to finding my purpose. To finding that thing that makes me want to stay here and make a difference. For that, I owe a big thank you to Alexis, Tess, Andrea, and Gabby. Three years later I still get goosebumps telling the story about how my body knew a decade before I did that this reality show would change my life.
Bits of divine timing like this are happening all around you. I'd encourage you to think about where it fits into your life. Maybe you have a story similar to mine, maybe reading this has jogged your memory. Or maybe reading this has opened your eyes to these synchronicities, these "coincidences" that happen. Maybe something is right around the corner for you and when it happens you'll think back to this post. Whatever it is, I hope you pick up on it and notice how beautiful these things can be.
Have you experienced anything like this before? I'd love to hear your story over on Instagram!
xx, Hali